1. Don't worry, it's not as scandalous as it sounds, but it is about swearing. About not swearing. See I've been a mom for 6 plus years and it's always the same old same old. I try not to swear, but s*&$ happens, so to speak. And stress comes and people spill juice all over your clean shirt or poke a sharply pointed stick in your buns as you are trying to have an adult conversation with a real life adult at the park.
2. What is one struggling mama to do? Sure there are the substitutes like Holy Shinola or Darn or Oh my lens caps (you use that one, too?), but it's a bit confusing. My daughter at the ripe age of two once heard Mr. P say "s*#@" when he accidently hammered his finger. She immediately ran over to him, patted his back and said, "DAddy, don't say s&@#, say what the hell." WE felt like failures. And ever since, we've been really trying. And yet, every time I go to confession, it like a record.
3. I was talking to my priest about this the other day and I almost swore talking about it. He gave me an idea, that I am going to share with you, although you wonderful people probably don't have these issues. He said, I should have a few peoples names that I am praying for on the tip of my tongue. And when the toddler dumps the cereal all over her fresh change of clothes or you discover the toddler's unbuckled herself as you're driving on the highway or you trip on your face at your husband's work party. Instead of saying all those other words, just say, "JANE DOE!"**
4. The tragic event is no longer wasted as a prolongation of your purgation, but instead you help someone else.
5. I will tell you that in practical application, it gets a bit awkward. AT the store, when your child pulls the free sample tray down and you say, "Bobby Cinderblock!" You may get a confused look. OR your kids might ask, who is that person you were yelling about. God forbid they meet that person and say, "Oh you're the person mom is always screaming about."
6. But those are just details. Details, details, details. It's gotta be better than hearing your just turned 2 year old say "d@#%" when she drops her baby doll's bottle. And it's gotta be better than yelling $*##&@$&#@&$@&#%@#$*%&.
7. That's all I got for friday! Happy Weekend to you and yours. Join Jen for better takes.
**names changed to protect the innocent.
Swearing, love it; hard to stop, but so worth it when you do. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is so appropriate for me right now. Great post! and hilarious as always.
ReplyDeleteOhhh this made me laugh so hard. I learned the hard way when I was a teen and my baby sister was 3 that I needed to hold my tongue or she'd repeat my expletives and I'd have to answer to my parents. So at a young age I was able to clean up my act a bit and the PG alternatives are what I end up blurting out. But you know what HAS shocked me since becoming a Mom? Especially since I recently started staying home? How often a curse word now pops into my head (even if it doesn't make it out of my mouth) in times of frustration! After all those years of ridding my brain, they've made a sudden reappearance. Must just be one the ways Satan loves to program our brains, the stinker! Thanks for the advice!
ReplyDeleteAll I can offer, as a gift of solidarity, is that the phrase "God...BLESS IT!" gets muttered through gritted teeth on an hourly basis around here sometimes. And that's all I can admit about that.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that you are the most NOT boring blogger ever. LOL. You may struggle with this for the rest of your life, but hey, you are giving us a laugh while you're at it!
ReplyDeleteI love it!
ReplyDeleteMy dad always says Sugar Pops and Fudgesickles... If you need a few more. But he said the other ones a lot in my memory, too. Zach's dad is famous for the phrase "God Bless America" used as a swear. I for one am just happy that other mothers I respect slip up, too. I enjoy other people's failures because they make me feel better about my own.
ReplyDelete